And so it begins

*I typed this up in the wee hours this morning, but didn't get around to posting until now.*

Deployment day 2007 has arrived. The Hub has left for his third tour in Iraq. We never say goodbye, but that moment of departure never gets any easier. This time is different in a lot of ways, but the same old thing in others.

Different how?

This time Breeze is here. Not only am I dealing with my own emotions and trying to put on that strong woman face, I'm dealing with the emotions of our 15yo. She's been there for a homecoming, but never this. Watching her see him go and watching him tell her "See you in 7 months" was agony for me. *I* can do this. It sucks and I cry and I hurt and I miss him so much already that it physically hurts. But I can. Seeing two of the three people I love most in tears is so much harder than dealing with my own tears.

This time is different because his flight left from HERE. I didn't have to drive 300+ miles to see him off. I drove 5 minutes from our house. I didn't have a six hour trip home to adjust before walking into that house and seeing his things where he left them. It took me five MINUTES. That's no time for adjustment. That's why I'm sitting here staring at a computer screen at 2am when I know I have to be up in 4 hours to get Breeze off to school. That's why I'm thinking, "Okay, surf the net? Knit that hat? Finish that flip book? Work on those LOs? Or go eat that bag of chocolate in the kitchen?"

So, how's it the same old thing as before?

He's never left at a decent hour. Our "see you laters" always come in the wee hours of the morning. Other people leave at some normal time like NOON, but we've never had that priviledge.

I always drop him off, hang around for a minute, and then leave without a long drawn out scene. He has a job to do, Marines to lead, and a mission to focus on. I won't hang around and distract him from any of that. I won't have him losing his composure in front of his troops, either.

So here I sit...exhausted, emotionally drained, but nowhere near sleep.