Feeling SO skeeved out

In the past two days, I've encountered TWO creatures that have totally turned me into a complete girl. DO NOT keep reading if you're skeeved out by creepy crawlies! There are pics, so consider yourself warned. The third pic also has some blood in it.

Yesterday, I was out front cleaning off my porch and was sweeping off the vinyl siding before I hosed it down. There was a spiderweb in one of the crevices that I couldn't get with the broom, so I reached in and pulled it out. Attached to the cocoon/web nastiness was a friggin' BROWN WIDOW! *shudder* I had never heard of such a thing, but I knew it had to be a widow b/c of the hourglass. I googled and looked at images, and sure as shit, there is such a thing as a brown widow. Check her out.

This one's blurry, but you can still kinda see that hourglass. Oh, and these bastages play dead! You *think* it's dead, but it isn't! I had to drown her in "Raid" to kill her.


Today, I mowed and did some weedeater-ing before the rain came. I was all over that yard like it was cool. This evening, we were out on the back porch and started back into the house. Mom glanced over by the back door, and there was a damn snake! It was partially in a hole, and I didn't know what kind it was. It wasn't like I could run in and Google it at the time. She ran to the shed to find a shovel, Breeze ran next door to get the Marine there to come kill it, and I was standing guard with a bucket in hand in case it tried to escape. Yeah, yeah. I know. I try to handle anything and everything, but a snake on my porch made me a shuddering lump of worthlessness. Well, the Marine's son came over, but in the meantime, Mom hacked it with a shovel and tried to drag it out of the hole. It was injured and pissed off by the time that kid got back there. He hacked its head mostly off while the three of us stood there completely freaked out. I took this pic so I could figure out what it was. Turns out it's a garter snake (I think), but it was in MY yard, so it was destined to be a dead snake. It is currently dead, in a bucket with a lid, and waiting to be hauled off tomorrow.
Now I'm all paranoid about shit in my yard! So that's been my past couple of days. Hopefully there will be no more surprises lying in wait out there. These two have been quite enough!